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I'm Not A Cool Mum & That's OK

Being a young mum means a lot of things. Pregnancy announcements are very different, for one. Rather than excited squeals and hugs, you are met with 'oh god, are you gonna keep it??'. Also getting dirty looks from old people in the street becomes commonplace and you have definitely heard the 'kids having kids' saying one too many times. It doesn't help when you have a total baby face too (people still think my haggard 23 year old self is about 15). But the biggest one for me has been the fact that I am the only one in my friendship group with a kid.

Whilst my friends were all drawing up travel plans for post-graduation or applying for internships, yours truly was stockpiling babygrows and googling 'how do I even keep another human alive???'. Even now, two years on, I am still the only one at this stage in life. And, honestly, there are times when I feel a little jealous. Like when I go for a meal out with friends and Ava has the mother of all tantrums in the middle of the restaurant. No one wants that. My friends just wanna sip cocktails and talk about work. But, because of mum life, I can't always do that. And that is something that I have found hard to make peace with.

Being a young mum - especially the only mum in your circle - means that you want to fight to hold onto your identity. As much as being a mum totally changes you, you don't really want people to see that. You fear you are becoming a 'baby bore' but chats about sleep schedules and which formula milk reacts best on your baby's gut keep slipping out of your mouth. You feel like you are in too deep and can't keep up the pretense anymore. You want to be a cool mum. A mum that still has 'a life of her own' and has interests outside of the child. But, at the same time, being a mum is such a huge part of your life right now. Caring for your child is your priority and something that does define you, to an extent. To your child, all you are is mum. You are their comfort in the dark nights and their entertainer on the slow days. You are their provider, their peace, the first thing they ever knew. And it has taken me a long time to come to terms with this but I'm not a cool mum. I am the kinda mum that will bend your ear off talking about all the words Ava has learnt. And I will likely want to show you pictures on a regular basis of every cute thing she has ever done.

I am, before anything else, a mum to a young child who relies on me in hundreds of ways. And I don't want to downplay it anymore. I want to make the most of this time as it won't last forever. The cocktails and nights out will be there long after Ava has packed her bags and headed out into the big, wide world. So, forgive me if I ramble on a bit too much about weaning methods and potty training but this is who I am right now.

Are you a regular mum or a cool mum?

What I'm wearing (aff links):
Dress: Angeleyes Fashion (gifted)
Shoes: New Look

You may also enjoy:
Reclaiming My Identity Post-Partum
How I Found Out I Was Pregnant With Ava
My 24 Hour Labour Story
An Ava Update
How I Find Time To Blog As A Stay-At-Home Mum

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