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Pregnancy Diaries #5: The First Kick

Anyone who has been following my pregnancy journey this time around will probably have noticed that it hasn't been easy so far. I have had sickness that made me wish for death, knee pain that made me unable to walk, and a whole lot of worries and doubts to go with it. In all honesty, my biggest fear lately has been that I won't bond with the baby once he is here. This time around, I just haven't felt the same connection I did the first time. I don't spend time singing to my bump or talking to him. Admittedly, sometimes he moves around and I just want to tell him to stop moving because it is making me feel sick. As this pregnancy has been so hard on me, the feelings that have come alongside that haven't often been joyous ones - I mean, no one skips along to the bathroom to throw up for the fifth time that day with a smile on their face, right?

But something changed a couple of days ago.

I had just got in from work and had run myself a bath. As I lay back in the bath and covered the bath with warm water, I felt a kick. A proper kick. Not butterflies or bubbles or vague movement - I felt a foot going at it on my interior organ-y bits. And, for possibly the first time in this whole pregnancy, I felt a wave of overwhelming love for my little one. All of my worries about bonding melted away as I felt him continue to stretch out his legs and move around in there.

Since then, I have felt a little different. I have started thinking about names again. I have made Isaac sit and hold my belly for ages in the hope he will feel the baby moving too. And I have just felt joy.

You may also enjoy:
Pregnancy Diaries #1 #2 #3 #4
How I Found Out I Was Pregnant With Baby #2
Can Maternity Clothes Actually Look Cute?

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