Friday, 19 January 2018

I'm Not Bothered About My Baby Weight


Admittedly, the title of this post is a lie. But it is a statement that I want to be true. I don't want how much baby weight I gained to be something that I focus on. I mean, I have a new baby - I have far more important things to worry about than the circumference of my thighs or how many weeks it takes for me to fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans (they were a size 8 so weeks probably isn't the best measure of judgement - years or even decades may be more realistic).

I feel like there is so much pressure piled onto new mums. Everyone has an opinion on everything. I know this especially well because I am committing three of the worst mothering sins (apparently). I top my kid up with formula (surprise, breast isn't always best if it can't satisfy your baby's needs), I settle her with a dummy, and we co-sleep. I know, I am like a modern day supervillain. But baby weight - and how long it takes you to lose it - is a whole other level of pressure. And I hate it. Even though I try not to, I find myself comparing my body to that of other mothers. I look at the pics of Kate Middleton leaving the hospital looking radiant. When I left hospital, my hair was so knotted that it had just tangled itself into one solid mass that stuck up on my head. Not so radiant. I lap up the headlines about how long it took so-and-so to lose their baby weight. I find myself trawling through mothering websites reading other women's experiences with weight loss. I try not to think of the calories. I tell myself that I need extra for breastfeeding. I avoid old pictures of myself at all costs else I fall down the 'look how flat my stomach used to be' rabbit hole of self-doubt.

 
But I need to cut myself some slack. We all do. I'll never get this time again and I don't want to waste it by spending it looking in the mirror and squidging my wobbly bits critically. Who cares if I have a jelly belly anyway? Ava doesn't. She likes to dig her little toes into it when I'm holding her. As a new mum, it shouldn't matter if I have a bit of baby puke on my top or if my hair looks like a sparrow has dropped its nest on my head.

Sometimes it is nice to dress up fancy and put on a bit of eyeliner. I find that it makes me feel a bit more like myself again. And maybe returning to the gym is what makes you feel more like yourself. If so, good on you. Go out and do it. But women shouldn't feel pressured into trying to meet everyone else's expectations. Looking after a newborn is tiring enough without adding a strict count of 10,000 steps into the mix as well. If you don't feel like putting on makeup then don't bother. Go cuddle with bubba instead. You are a 'yummy mummy' with or without the concealer on your eyebags.


At the end of the day, motherhood is hard enough without putting extra pressure on yourself. I am learning to accept how my body has changed and embrace all of it.

Boots - Primark (similar)
Skirt - Topshop (here)
Jacket - Topshop (similar)
Scarf - Primark (similar)
Top - Primark (similar)
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1 comment

  1. You look absolutely lovely (#YummyMummy) but I know how having a baby makes you feel in yourself. There's so much change, a lot of it so subtle that others wouldn't notice. I drank some Diet Coke the other day and realised I bloat differently now, so feel super self conscious about it like I've swollen up like a space hopper. When my husband can't even notice! But I agree, the pressure on new mums is horrendous and something I wasn't ready for. It feels like sometimes there's literally nothing you can do right without someone, somewhere having an opinion. But like you I'm learning to embrace it all and take it in my stride.

    Amy
    http://AMbeautyedit.com

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