Thursday, 9 February 2017

I Got Married At 19

 
When I first met my husband, I would never have imagined that I would end up married to him.
We first met when I was actually seeing someone else (cheeky) via a well known online dating site (*cough* Christian Mingle *cough*). We chatted online for about a week before he arranged to travel down on the National Express coach to Cardiff for our first date. I drank a lot of Malibu and we ate chips and curry sauce. Classy, right? I got so drunk that I walked into a wall - be sure to add that to your list of ways to impress a teetotaller.
 
Somehow, I managed to get a second date. This time I was sober. We had kebabs in a hotel room in Northampton. This is pretty much a Nicholas Sparks novel. Call Paige Toon, I've got a story to sell her.
 
After 4 months of daily phone calls and travelling back and forth between Cardiff and Northampton (thank goodness for National Express), disaster struck. Visa disaster. My husband had to return to Uganda because his visa expired.
For. 3. Whole. Months.
For almost as long as we had been together, we now had to be apart for. We didn't know if he would even be allowed back into the country.
Good job there, Home Office.
But we made applications and arrangements and he was back. I was so pleased to see him.
 
 
 
He was now settled in Cumbria. I took the coach there. Bad idea. It took me 10 hours. 10! Never again. I now have a rail card and I have never looked back since.
 
That winter I went through a rather shitty time. So shitty! And because of the storms up in Cumbria, my man couldn't be with me in person. Although he was on the phone all the time, I was struggling and I really thought we would break up at that point. But he supported me so well and when we next saw each other, I felt so close to him. More close than ever. We had been together a whole year and the thought of marriage actually was seeming more likely now. I couldn't imagine life without him.
That February, he proposed. In the same romantic style the rest of our relationship had taken, I came out the shower and he proposed. My response? 'Will you let me put some clothes on first?'. But it was intimate. He held my hand and told me that he wants us to raise a family together and share our lives. It felt right. Everyone thought we were crazy - I was 19. If any of my friends got married at 19, I'd think they need their heads examining.
 
At the end of April, we married. My flatmates and family attended. Probably not what they imagined they'd be doing in their second year of uni.
 
 
 
We have been married for almost a whole year now. We have shared a lot in this year and I feel like I have got to know him so well. I have never known anyone to this point before. This year we have still had to be long distance. We have spent a few of these months living together and it was awesome. I saved so much money on train fares! Also he was kinda cool to be around.
 
But it is awesome being married. It's not always the heady excitement of kebabs in hotel rooms but it is nice. We watch Netflix and have private jokes and I know I can rely on him. I would say that friendship really should be at the heart of your relationship. Because the honeymoon period is lovely but it doesn't last forever but friendship can. Some of my favourite times have been just chilling watching Sherlock together and eating takeaway pizza. Him poking my food baby stomach like the cheeky man he is.
 
Although people say I am missing out and wasting my twenties, I'm content. If I go out, I know I have someone waiting for me at home keeping the bed warm. No returning home to a cold bed for me.
 
Naturally, everyone assumed I was pregnant. Or mega keen to start a family. Guess again, the only stomach bulge in my wedding pics was from the Chinese buffet I stupidly ate the night before (still visible through two layers of spanx!). We're not having kids yet. I'm still learning to look after myself. We're going travelling instead.
 
If I went back, I'd do it all the same. I was so young (I still am - only almost 21) but the thought that life could have got in the way if we had held off and I could have lost him - it doesn't bear thinking about. A life without the phone ringing at inconvenient moments, and his laughter, and the way he rolls around like a little kid when I tickle his side, and how we pronounce specific words in silly ways which is somehow so hilarious. A life without Luganda music blaring in the kitchen, and how he answers the phone shouting 'mulenzi mulenzi', and dancing together (albeit very badly on my part), and how he pulls me closer to him when he's half asleep at night. That wouldn't be a life I want at all.
 
So, roll on April when I finish my degree and we move into the next stage of our life together. Let's hope I'm still singing his praises by our next anniversary.
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8 comments

  1. Reading this made me smile. There's so much stigma about age when it comes to marriage and children, but I think if you're truly meant to be with someone, why should it matter? I've been dating my boyfriend long distance for a year now (he's at uni in England, but we're both from Northern Ireland). He was my best friend growing up and we always just 'clicked', so I completely agree that a friendship/relationship works.x

    www.sheintheknow.co.uk

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  2. Yours is a beautiful story, dear. Yes, some people will talk and think about things but it is your life. Glad you found each other, and you two look beautiful. I wish you two all the best!

    Madame X
    The Flower Duet

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  3. This is SO sweet that it brought a tear to my eye!! It's so nice to know that true love does exist and that you found it so early on. Beautifully written, thank you so much for sharing! Wishing you a long lifetime of continued happiness together! <3 Jade x

    My Blog: Jade With Envy

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  4. I don't have an issue with getting married young at all (heck, I'm still going to be considered a young bride and I'll be 24!) but I personally couldn't have imagined getting married whilst still long distance. We met at 16, did long-distance for 4 years between 18 and 22, got engaged during our final year and will eventually marry next year having lived together for two years. It was hard enough being apart as girlfriend/boyfriend, definitely don't think I could do it marrried!

    But having said that, it's clear it worked for you, good luck to the both of you!

    NINEGRANDSTUDENT: A Lifestyle Blog

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  5. This was such an interesting peek into your life! You two are super cute together and it's nice to hear that you have someone by your side to rely on. My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time (I don't see myself wanting to be married soon though) and we've been long distance for the last four years so I know how that feels! I'm lucky that he's a student so he spends all of his holidays living with me in Edinburgh xx

    Jessthetics

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  6. I get a lot of comments about the fact that me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 18 about how we're waiting our youth etc etc so I can't imagine how many you must get being married! It's so strange reading this now that you're over half way through your pregnancy hehe

    Steph - www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

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  7. Saw this in the sidebar and had to pop over and read. Your story is lovely and you look so happy together. I'm a firm believer that when you meet the right person and know, you know. I got married at 28 but feel I would have married my husband at 18 if we had been lucky enough to meet then. Anyone who suggests you're wasting your life has sadly likely not been in that position yet. Malibu made me nostalgic, I used to drink a lot of that when I was younger but the smell of it now would turn my stomach haha. You can have too much of a good thing!

    https://amyevans.co.uk - Amy

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  8. Truly touching story! There's always this belief that If we're around 18, we're too young to know what we really want in life. But I guess we're the only ones who know how we feel, and I'm so glad you were able to go through it all. Beautiful story, with a very funny first date haha!

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